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Coping with Anger - What's your trigger? 5 steps to dealing with anger.

I've noticed that we are truly living on the edge of life. It's not taking a lot for people to "Pop off" on one another. Last month, I experienced road raged by a man because he believed I was holding up traffic, but in actuality, there was a car in front of me and I couldn't move. My heart sped up at a fast pace because this man wanted a physical fight with me over me stopping for less than 30 seconds on the street. In 2019, 82% of people admitted to committing an act of road rage in the past year. (The Zebra)

Now, if he would have gotten out of his car to confront me, then I would of had to choice but to defend myself. But damn! Why does it have to get to that? I'm not sure what was on his mind that day, but I can tell that life is not good for him.

I could remember being young and hot headed as a result of dealing with childhood trauma. I was not allowed to express myself and the anger manifested in other ways. But I soon found that being angry all the time was exhausting and took a toll on me mentally and physically.

In another incident, one mother engaged in a heated argument over a two year old hitting her son (also two years old) at a graduation party. One minute there was arguing and a fight was about to erupt and would have lead to traumatizing the other children. The Mom believed she was "defending" her son, when in fact this young lady was already dealing with pre-existing trauma in her life. Is it not a wonder why so many jump to 10 because their emotional bubble is ready to burst and it just takes one trigger to set things in motion.

As we get older, I see many people are still in that "child like" mindset of dealing with anger. I get it, the world has done a 180 degree turn on us. Finances, jobs, mentally stability are all things we deal with and that's just the short list, but how we deal with it can make the difference of healing, going to prison or even death, yes dying is an outcome of anger.

Family, in this day and time it is imperative that we work on our mental well being on a daily basis. We're getting too old for rages like school kids as life is way too short. We are all humans and everyone has a trigger, but acts of violence should be the last response and not the first. Sometimes we can't avoid a physical altercation but trust when I tell you, there are better ways to resolve issues so that all involved get to go home to see another day.

Just take some time to breath before acting. Know that mental health is a daily challenge and it takes work! When we act in rage, those who depend on us suffer the consequences for our actions. One of the reasons I use alternative solutions is because I have days that I'm on edge and I just need something to calm my nerves. None of us our exempt from triggers, just know there are natural remedies to help us cope.

Five Steps of Anger Management

  1. Take a moment to breathe for acting. Can this issue be resolved by talking?

  2. Believe you can control your anger. Tell yourself that you can!

  3. Calm down. Control your emotions. ...

  4. Decide how to solve the problem. This step only works once you are calm. ...

  5. Express yourself assertively. Ask for what you need.

What are your thoughts on anger triggers and how have you dealt with them? If you want to learn more about alternative solutions, please subscribe to my website.

Until the next time....

Maxine Sinclair

Health and Wellness Advocate

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